Addressing Social-Emotional Wellness in Children Amidst COVID

by Dr. Lauren Plant, Head of School, Westerly School

     When the Surgeon General issued an advisory in December of 2021 about widespread mental health challenges that children, adolescents, and young adults are currently facing, it immediately resonated with much of what I have been personally witnessing and hearing about from my fellow Heads of School. As we dip our toes back into a sense of normalcy on school campuses, we have recognized that COVID’s impact on our children and students has been, perhaps, more deeply impactful on their mental health and wellness than on their physical. As they have left their home learning environments and transitioned back onto campuses, I – alongside most other educators – have been clearly attuned to students exhibiting signs of anxiety, depression, and worry. And yet, there has also been another alarming consequence of the physical distancing and isolation that COVID-19 demanded: it is, we are discovering, as if we hit the “pause” button on children’s healthy development of social skills.

     My fellow principals and I have been shocked at how frequent and consistent our discussions have been regarding how to best support students who are now, more than ever before, struggling with conflict resolution, establishing healthy friendships and boundaries, following community norms, and thoughtfully engaging in positive social dynamics. Feeling overwhelmed by the social challenges her students have been exhibiting, one principal remarked, “I am seeing kids at all grade levels about two years behind in their developmental norms in their social interactions and skills.” My sense is that many parents are cognizant of some of these social challenges as well.

     As educators, as families, as friends and support systems, it is vital that we remain patient with our children. Social skills are just like any academic or physical skill: a child has to practice them repeatedly over time and they will grow. Just like muscles, the social skills required to navigate dynamic interactions have to be nourished and exercised or they atrophy. Our kiddos simply haven’t had the opportunity to practice and exercise these skills; for two and a half years, most children and adolescents have not attended school in-person, have been asked to stay physically distant from their friends, and cover their faces with masks, so they are unable to read social cues. Those of us who spend time on school campuses recognize that this ubiquitous social skills deficit is unprecedented, and we are finding that we need to go back to basics across all ages and stages of school to develop and practice prosocial behaviors. This absolutely requires patience, understanding, and empathy from the adults surrounding these kids to lean into what it means to be a functioning, thoughtful, and nimble member of a social community.

     At Westerly School, this looks different across ages and grade levels: teachers will lead student “tea and talk” groups for 5th graders, faculty are jumping into soccer games to help model and facilitate conflict resolution amongst our competitive 2nd and 3rd graders, administrators sit with middle schoolers at lunch to help them navigate tough conversations with friends when feelings are hurt, and educators are pausing their lessons to discuss actions that students can practice to demonstrate kindness and inclusion. Westerly utilizes RULER, a research-based Social-Emotional Learning Program, to undergird all our work with students’ social and emotional health and well-being, alongside an interactive small-group advisory program in Middle School. But beyond formal programming and structures, we realize the informal interactions and moments are equally as essential to best model and give our students the tools they need to reach their full and unique potential academically, artistically, physically, and socially. As we cautiously reintegrate back into our socially connected communities and worlds, it is imperative that we support our children’s ability to thrive, both in their unique selves and their healthy social interactions with each other. 

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